congraulations on your new baby!! and i hope u feel much better! and im osrry to hear u needed a csecion taht must suck and hurt like hell. take and get some sleep! sammi

That's nice!!! Welcome to my country  and hope u enjoy for this trip

If u need information about Thailand, u can ask me (If I can answer u LOL)

Thx a lot for ur comment and nice to meet u.

u will go to travel in Thailand, won't u????

Hope to see u...

awwww kittens are cute but i know what you mean by energetic!!!- I got rid of my kitten for that reason, hehe my family and I would be eating dinner and the kitten would jump up and cling onto the screen on the window and just hang there, it scared the sh*t out of us every time. hehe

xx Melody

Have you heard of the twilight series...

omg they are so good..it is Romance..Fantasy..and Action..

it is a great book

There are three books

Twilight

New Moon

Eclipse

and the last book Breaking Dawn is coming out August 2 2008!!!!

Kay well yea if you like paranormal things and romance and fantasy and action and stuff this seris will be like the best book..It is ma fav book seris of ALL time.

at the end of the school year my junior year i was reading a book a day for awhile. too much free time during class lol.

try the diving bell and the buttterfly. that's next on my list :)

try some nonfiction... like a memoir or something.

I used to live in Idaho and we got a lot of snow. Now I live in the middle east and we don't get very much snow. You're not missing out on anything. It's cold and dreary. There is no color; only white.

Of course snow is real. :D

I know I can't really show you, but if you watch the weather channel, it should say where it's snowing. Which should be enough proof, lol. But maybe when you can you can, travel to a snowy place if you really need to see to belive, which makes sense. I woke up this morning and there was snow everywhere, seriously everything was white. It's really pretty, but I'm not to fond of being in it. It's really cold and gross when it melts. But you can't sled, snowboard, or ski without snow. It's pretty fun at times. :]

Hopefully maybe you'll see it one day.

<3Dani.

LOL. yes the stupid wench threatened me. and I told her several times to leave me anloe or i was calling the cops.   Th warrant for his arrest was issued the next morning.. lol she is dumb.   I have all the emails she typed  to me that night.  Also to add to their stupidity, he tries to say he cant work  but on my space they post all this stuff about how he works all the time and is never home and  he makes  30,000 to 40,000 a year. and on hers she actually has pictures posted of him working..LOL gets him every time

lol on the puppy joke

your so blessed to be having a child!

I've read some of your past blogs and it sounds like you need to walk away from your husband. I'm not trying to be a downer but he doesn't seem to really be what you need. You've had alot of issues since you got married (the things you found on the computer, the way he treated you when you were sick, etc.). You need a man who will be there completely for you.

Money isn't enough to make a marriage work. It will be a struggle if you leave but no more so than living in a marriage without love.

Good luck to you.

You have beautiful mind, I feel sorry for the guy, I mean your husband to losing such a wonderful gal like you, dear, I wish for your happiness and beautiful life. Good Luck!!

Try talking to your husband about it. The wedding does seem a little...crazy because ya know....your already married to him. As for his mom its normal for things to be like that. But I hope things get better for you!!!!! Happy easter!
<3 Lindsey

he can take her if he gets a paternity test which proves he's the dad and you're unfit or something as a mom. But i doubt he can do that since he seems like the unfit one.

The money thing...I think you should go to the court or get a laywer to ask him to pay up. You need something for your daughter...and he needs to pay something even if it's a $20 a week or $30 a month.

>... I wonder why people work so hard yet get nothing really in return...

In my case, I have the good fortune to love my work.  It hasn't always been that way; sometimes I've had to try to adopt a mindset of loving a job, but knowing another one (in my chosen profession) would be even better.  But that's an effort.  But let me try to answer: for me, children make life worth living.  I believe that the only thing of value we leave behind is the benefit we've given to our children, and others we teach during our lives.

Also:

>Lately I've been asking myself something odd, when I wake up in the morning, " Could I died this day and have no regrets?" ...I wonder if anyone else see it this way.

I've had those thoughts but at age 44 I don't dwell on them!

Best

Thanks for the comment..Why did you have an abortion?

Hope Im not being too nosy; I just could never see myself doing that..

But you're right.Its NOT a legit. reason to break it off..

Guys=stupid.and they can also be hippocrites.

thanks for your post

no you are not odd at all.

You seem like someone that's grounded and if you remain that way, you will always appreciated the things that come your way.

Some pwople work very hard because it's waht they know, what they were taught,perhaps the parents used to battle and say, but you know we have no money. Now that these people have grown and hae their own money, they still say the same thing, not realising that they actually do have money and deserve to spend it on themselves.

I say Go traveling. Enjoy the world around you and see the beauty of it all.Visit South Africa, it's cheaper there and the people are lovely.Ejoy

I don't think that you are a terrible mother. I felt the same thing about my child before he was born. I didn't have that strong motherly love for him when he was in my stomach. I wasn't too concerned though because I figured as time went by and I knew him that I would learn to love him- and it was true. Shortly after his birth I fell head over heels in love with him- my whole life and all my energy was wrapped up in my little bundle. I couldn't concentrate on anything but him. I barely showered cuz I was recovering from a very painful c-section. All my energy I devoted to him. I didn't even take pain pills cuz they made me too shaky and weak feeling.
And I needed to be strong in order to take care of him. So basically I spent several weeks suffering.

But- it was well worth it. I hurt, but my son was mine and no one else but my husband could claim him and THAT is what made all the difference.

Now he's nine and turns out the kid is gifted. Amazing. I am so pleased with him and his progress. He is such a good kid. He has such a good heart. I'm sure with your own you understand what I mean...

I was an army wife, my hubby(now exhubby) was deployed alot even while I was pregnant... it is scary BUT you have to find a way to deal with it and find the happiness in everything... My girls are about 2 yrs and a few months apart...they are teenagers now... I am glad I had them at that diastance in time apart... the 2 yr old was eagar to help mommy and she was also learning to play independantly... They are closer to one another than kids who are born farther apart...

Best of luck... Say loads of prayers and be grateful for all that you have...

Janica

thanks.don'tworry you will get thourgh it and a suggetson drop out of school  because  your family is more important and if you need money ask a family member if you need help.

I liked your diary so I added you to my faves. Considering that you're not a christian I'm not sure that you will like my diary- even though I have some very mixed feelings about God. About abortion- I do think it's a baby and I don't believe in it...but I can't tell you what to do with your body and I would never reject you over it. We all give up things all the time.

About not having a conscience- I feel the same way. This is new to me though and I wonder what is wrong with me. I used to love so deeply and thoroughly and now I can't feel a f***ing thing. It's crazy. I'm afraid that if my son died I wouldn't be able to grieve. And that I can't even grieve over. It is very crazy.

Anyway- I want to keep tabs on you and every time you update I will read your diary.

I hope that marriage works out for you. I hope that this is the right guy and I'm glad that he gives you some kind of conscience. At least you have a way to have one- whereas nothing helps me.

i think you would pass out first...but lets not try it :)

-ava

omg you sound like me!! i hate being stressed esp. IF SOMEONE KEEPS TELLING ME WHAT TO DO! it is YOUR wedding and you do what YOU want :) i would not want to get married in a church either ;)

xoxo christina xoxo

I wonder that too. I guess sometimes we think that if we get involved in something that the outcome wont be bad, and sometimes it is and thats why we get hurt.

Its kinda a win/lose situation.

Anyways, thanks for the diary comment!

xx

if you really want my opinion i would say not to marry cause i mean u said it...he broke your heart and destroyed your hopes and dreams...if he really cared in the first place he wouldnt have done it. and if he REALLY wanted you he would support you in your decision not to move away from your daughters father. u cant take a child from there father. but i cant make decisions for you this one is all on you but u now have my opinion.

good luck honey